Yesterday morning, I had a surreal experience.
I had dropped the kids off at school and gone to the grocery store. The house was empty.
Yet, as I was preparing my coffee, I heard music begin to play out of nowhere.
I approached the noise and realized that it was Taylor Swift.
As I got even closer, I realized it was her song "Wildest Dreams."
I didn't understand. I hadn't listened to the song in over 8 months. Where was it coming from?
It turned out to be coming from an old cell phone. The night before, I had charged it for the first time in about a year.
The song was the ringtone alarm I had set for my ex -- a person who hadn't occupied space in my home in nearly 9 months.
The song's tune and lyrics hit me hard and I fell apart instantaneously.
The blow was so unexpected.
Yet, I pieced myself together very quickly.
I had an excellent day.
I completed my video series for Radiant and created an amazing workbook for my clients.
I had an epic personal training session. I took the kids for Italian Ices when they got home.
I consumed healthy meals before going to yoga in the evening with my bestie.
But, this was a relatively new response.
The "old me" would have let this strange little incident snowball.
I probably wouldn't have stopped crying for days.
My depression would have kicked in full force.
I would have traded my workout and yoga class for my bed.
The healthy meals would have never happened. I would have skipped them all.
I would have been completely unproductive and gotten behind in my business endeavors.
I know from past experience exactly how it would have all gone down. It happened way too many times before.
To me, this change in response is the Reclaiming Yourself process in action.
But, I wanted to share something even deeper with you. The day was not over yet!
In video 1 of the lifestyle design series I said that hitting rock bottom in any area of our life typically results in us opening our mind towards other processes and outcomes. After all, what else are we going to do but start to think outside of the box!?!
(And, if you missed the free video series on creating a joyful, fulfilling, and courageously confident life, you can still access it by signing up HERE)
So after my kids went to sleep, I curled up in my bed and continued reading Gabrielle Bernstein's "Spirit Junkie."
I couldn't believe what I was reading. She literally wrote, "Hitting bottom is actually a miracle because it creates a situation in which you are out of options and must ask for help. "
This is exactly what I had discussed in my video just days earlier!
I continued reading feeling intrigued.
Gabby went on to discuss an experience where she very deliberately asked the Universe to send her a message about something she needed help with.
The next morning, she woke up and her inner guide (inner voice, intuition) instantly sent her a very strong and clear message.
Now for some of you, this might sound totally normal. For others, you might be thinking Gabby and I are nuts! That's okay. ;)
But, remember that when you open your mind, you allow all types of new experiences to come to you.
So, I decided to give it a shot.
Before I went to sleep, I meditated. Then, I asked the Universe to help me out and send me a message.
Today, I woke up about 30 minutes before my alarm. I walked the dog, made some coffee, and visualized my day, as I always do. But, this morning I still had about six minutes to spare before my kids would wake up for school.
I looked at my nightstand and my card deck was sitting there. I decided to do my single card pull.
However, as I started to shuffle, five cards fell out.
The individuals who have trained me to work with my cards have told me to be very observant of any cards that fall out of your shuffle because they are a special message to you from the Universe.
I couldn't believe it! (And, I never drop cards in my shuffle.)
The message in the cards was very on point with what I had asked the Universe for help.
But, the card that stood out the most was the one on top. The Ten of Swords reversed.
I feel that the message here is clear here, beautiful souls.
When you've been dealt a devastating blow and a painful situation -- or if you have been brutally taken down like the woman in this card -- you can recover.
You can heal. You can take the lessons and come back stronger. You can put your crown back on -- maybe even put it on for the first time.
You can Reclaim Yourself. Rising up like never before.
When I was lost in this toxic, hellacious relationship, it wasn't something I thought I could ever recover from.
As painful as it was for a moment, the music yesterday morning was actually just another message to me from the Universe to take a moment to reflect and to realize that it's progress and not perfection -- and this system IS working.
Here's To Our Success,
P.S.: My signature digital life transformations program, Reclaim Yourself, will be available for a very limited time in March. If you would like more information when it becomes available, just fill out the contact form below.
Do you ever get stopped in your tracks by something happening in your life?
It seems like no matter what you do, your thoughts keep circling and you feel the anxiety or stress welling up?
It happened to me when I woke up this morning after I realized that my "to-do list" was about as big as me since the kids had been out of school for the 3-day weekend.
I tell you all about it in today's video. Check it out right here:
Can you identify YOUR "problem thoughts"??
As they cross your mind, write them down. Then, counter them with a positive, empowering affirmation.
Each time that thought crosses your mind throughout the day, use your affirmation.
Soon enough that thought will stop occurring all together.
The best part of this simple process is that it can be used over and over again in all areas of your life.
Like I said in the video, I know it seems "naively simple" -- but it's effective. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you!
Here's To Our Success,
Valentine's Day came and went like it always does. But, this year was different for me. This year I chose to love MYSELF!
For most of my life, I lacked self-love. I had nothing but love, gratitude, compassion, and appreciation for the people around me, but I couldn't seem to find any for myself.
This lack of self-love manifested itself in all sorts of ways -- toxic friendships, maladaptive behaviors, eating disorders.
In my 30s, however, it played out in the most toxic romantic relationship imaginable.
A friend continued to tell me this important message:
Yet, I couldn't manage to wrap my head around it for a long time.
I couldn't see the principle I teach my clients every day -- the law of attraction -- at work in front of me. We don't attract what we want -- we attract what we feel and what we think about.
If we aren't loving ourselves, we will find a way to surround ourselves with people who don't love us, either.
As my final toxic relationship came tumbling to the ground and I felt as though I was left with little more than a shattered heart, the lyrics hit me hard:
With my lack of self-love, I found someone who managed to show no love. Not only towards me, but to essentially everyone else, as well.
But, if you find yourself in the "lying on the cold, hard ground" phase, don't fret...
I spent the past two Valentine's Days "in a relationship" crying my eyes out. I found out the hard way that what Robin Williams said is true.
I turned inward this past year. I discovered how to love and appreciate myself.
I'm still a work in progress -- self-love isn't always my default option after so many years of the opposite. But, the best gift I could have ever given to myself was the gift of self-love.
My own self-love is also the best gift I could have given to everyone else around me. It's made me a better person.
This year I happily celebrated Valentine's Day. With myself. With my two kids. With my Galentine's -- the best tribe girls I could have ever imagined or asked for!
You can't make these smiles or these laughs up! They're heartfelt and they're real!
So if Valentine's Day hit you hard -- and even if you celebrated it joyfully -- I hope you took some time to celebrate yourself.
And, throughout the year, I hope you practice self-love.
Develop a relationship with the most amazing person out there -- YOU. Trust me, you deserve it. 💖🌷💖
Here's To Our Success,
Today I enjoyed the feeling of the warmth of the sun on my skin.
We always hear that it's important to enjoy the "little" things. But, perhaps even more important, we have to become AWARE of the little things.
Sometimes this isn't easy. Sometimes we intentionally choose to stop being aware.
For a long time, I didn't recognize a lot of my intuitive tendencies. However, as I became more in tune with myself, I started to see some patterns.
For instance, one of the telltale signs that something is very wrong has become crystal clear:
I get a chill. The bigger the offense, the less its likelihood of quickly departing.
I've had a chill since last night. Even after a really intense workout this morning, drenched in sweat -- I was still cold.
To put it lightly, the Super Bowl ended up triggering some memories.
This time last year, I thought I was in a whole different place in my previous relationship.
We were supposedly on the cusp of blending families, being comfortable out in public, talking about the future. It felt like things were finally "real."
We had communicated in great depth. We were going in the right direction.
I remember watching the Super Bowl together in her bed. I remember her expressing interest with what was happening and wanting to know more about the game. It may seem like a small thing, but when somebody has no interest in a game, but spends her whole evening watching and trying to learn, it just felt nice. It felt real.
There was a lot of hope in the air -- all around.
I thought I was building a life.
It was about two months later when it all came crashing down.
I found out that it was all lies.
Carefully crafted words.
Means to an end.
For me, last night's Super Bowl was yet another memory to recall with the seemingly simple, yet painfully complicated question I have used to trace over so much of the past two years: "Real or not real?"
I remember the first chill vividly.
It was our "on" weekend together (neither of us had our kids) so we would be able to spend the time together. We were supposed to go see one of my favorite bands play. We had texted throughout the day. All was well.
Until it wasn't.
It was all too typical.
She picked a random fight over nothing. This was her MO during entirely too much of our time together.
For whatever reason, I decided I could salvage the night and we still went to see the band play.
The whole time we were there, she refused to even speak to me. The band played some of "our" songs.
It was the first time a friend requested that I no longer bring her to the events.
I think I will always remember that night vividly. I was sitting at Cheers Sunrise in the middle of a hot night... FREEZING.
Perhaps I will remember it more because the chill didn't go away. For two days, in 80* weather, I felt cold everywhere I went.
After that time, whenever we would get into a major fight, I would get the chill again.
Since that time, and because I've become a lot more in tune with myself and my abilities, whenever something feels extremely wrong in my life with another person, I get the chill. It passes quickly, but I feel it nonetheless.
Last night, I remembered my previous Super Bowl memory. I remembered the feelings of hope that I had that night in that bed. I felt the chill. Once again, it stuck around.
Now when the chill comes, I know that it means that I have more healing work to do. I dig deeper.
There is still a lot of healing ahead, particularly with the forgiveness process. But, now I can move forward peacefully knowing that my life has done a 180* in less than one year.
For that, I am so grateful.
But, this experience has led me to question -- and help my clients question -- what message does the Universe send to you to let you know that something isn't right?
It doesn't have to be a chill. But, if you pay close enough attention, you'll probably find something:
That headache you keep getting...
That 'feeling' in your stomach...
That 'nagging' thought...
Do you listen??
Today I feel light.
There is an ease about me.
Today I am thankful for the radiant sunlight warming my skin.