The "Other" F-Word...
We all have that "one thing"...
Those who know me well and even those who have followed some of the blog posts and videos on the Radiant site know that like most people, for all that I have overcome, for all of my successes and victories, I’ve had this one thorn in my side…
Mine was my previous relationship.
It was a level of betrayal that is still difficult to wrap one’s mind around.
The wounds were deep and straight to the back.
There is not much that can be said to console a person who falls deeply in love with another person only to discover that the entire thing was a lie. A manipulation. A game.
The recovery cycle was vicious.
Falling back down.
When I look back now, I understand that I attracted someone who – at that moment in time – was on the exact same vibrational frequency as me.
I chose to play with fire. I got burned.
I met someone in the exact same situation as me.
Desperately searching for a way to get out of a stale, toxic, way-past-the-point-of-being-done relationship.
Someone who was searching for someone or something outside of themselves to ignite a spark that had long since diminished. Needing to feel alive; wanting that spark to be relit.
Someone who struggled with feelings of worthlessness and not being enough. Strangled by the feelings of inadequacy.
One night at work, I found that spark and connection with her.
I remember the moment. Her eyes. The feeling. Something came alive in that instant. I can still recall it like yesterday.
Once it all came crashing down, exposed for the façade that it was, I also spent months trying to forget it all wishing with everything I had in me that I had walked by her that night and never looked back.
But, at that time, I had found exactly what I was looking for. I attracted what I was putting out there.
I ended up developing toxic habits, bounced in and out of major depressive cycles, and learned to play small in my daily life.
She was an expert at judging others and I, too, started judging everyone and everything around me.
In “The Universe Has Your Back,” Gabby Bernstein explains:
“We use judgment to avoid the feeling of our own inadequacy, insecurities, and lack of self-worth. Instead of addressing those feelings, we look at the perceived shortcomings of others so we don’t have to face our own pain… At its core, attack is really a call for help.“
That relationship in itself was ultimately a call for help.
I needed to recognize the ways that I did not feel "good enough" and all of the ways that I lacked self-love. I had to discover a healthy way to "fill the void" and create a wholehearted life.
And, it turns out that there’s really only one way to get past a situation like this.
You have to give yourself permission to feel the sadness, loss, and confusion. Recognize the anger. Accept the situation for what it is and what it has meant to you, free of judgments.
And, then, we must recognize our oneness – no matter how difficult that may be.
Releasing judgments, allowing ourselves to forgive, and recognizing our oneness, allows the situation to dissipate. It can no longer have power over you.
As Gabby says:
“It brings us back to the truth. That we are all in this together. We all suffer… She is you. Her pain is yours. Her suffering is yours. And, you both want the same thing: To return to peace.”
Is it time for you to forgive?
I felt so guided by this reading and my own experience of forgiving, releasing, and letting go, that I decided to create an entire new module for my signature digital life transformations coaching program, Reclaim Yourself, that focuses solely on forgiveness.
Forgiving the person or situation that hurt you the most.
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.”
Forgiveness releases you from the stranglehold the person or situation had on you and allows you to move on to the peaceful, joyful life that you deserve.
Is it easy? No.
Can you do it? Yes.
I believe in you.
Here’s To Our Success,
PS: If you want to learn more about the Reclaim Yourself program, just click on THIS LINK and I will send you information as soon as the course opens!
3/20/2017 09:23:58 pm
I want to thank you for sharing this ... I kinda want to thank her too ...by releasing her and yourself WE gained a most amazing woman .
3/21/2017 10:59:09 am
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I truly appreciate it. I'm grateful for her, too. I had to get "cracked open" for all of this to happen. I'm so happy we crossed paths and continue to grow together.
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